I have so many gripes with the metro, i’m starting to lose count. There’s the ridiculously high fares, the idiot tourists, the oblivious space hogs, the daily breaking of the trains, the rude teenagers (how old do i sound?), the smelly people, the creepy people… i could go on and on, BUT what could possibly make me so angry, that i would post a blog after not writing for years?!
These things:
So I’m pretty sure there is a secret code amongst the rollerbag carriers, since 99.9% of the people that i have encountered carrying them have all done one or more or ALL of the following. Internetizens, you are SO privileged today, because TODAY i am sharing this secret code with you in hopes that we will come up with ways to combat it. Here it is in all of its glory:
Rule #1: Make sure to walk impossibly slow WITH your bag fully extended behind you. DOUBLE points if you are so fat that no one can walk around you and your bag and they must take super small steps (like a 2cm gain for each step) behind you or a line forms behind you.
Rule #2: Place your bag on the seat next to you in a crowded train with numerous people standing, including that obviously pregnant women. Because obviously your sack full of crap is more important than anything IN THE WORLD.
Rule #3: If standing near the door of the train, make sure to block the door with your bag or the center aisle or BOTH!
Rule #4: Before walking down the stairs make sure to stop RIGHT BEFORE going down the stairs and take a few minutes to prepare to carry your bag/ put junk in your bag. This also will work right before you get to the ticket gate.
Rule #5: And of course if any of other person dares to trip over your bag/ get their feet run over by your bag, it is CLEARLY their fault. GLARE AT THEM WITH THE GLARE OF DEATH.
…douchebags
amen sista! i totally agree and i didnt know you had a blog till now! youre so funny!
Comment by JACKSON — August 21, 2011 @ 11:03 am